It may feel like self-limiting, but if you share the same goals, this will be easier to follow. Sobriety means you’re as equipped as you can be to manage any outcome that comes your way. I don’t know of a single relationship problem that was solved by drinking. Even though he drank with me, my husband wasn’t (and isn’t) an alcoholic.

But that’s true of life whether you try to drink it away or not. Yes, there are going to be some difficult conversations, fights, and emotions you don’t know how to tactfully articulate. There are things you’ll get miserably wrong and words you’ll want to take back. My husband had to learn to grow up and I had to learn to be emotionally self-sufficient. That’s a massive emotional landscape to navigate and neither of us knew what to expect. He helped me through it, sometimes by just being a physical presence.

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Arguing with your spouse, getting shit-faced, and venting to your friends, then waking up the next day pretending it didn’t happen is no longer an option. While you may look back fondly at the pre-addiction days of your marriage, it’s now time to do things differently. Codependency keeps people from having healthy relationships, so unless this dynamic is changed, sobriety may not be enough to keep the cycle from continuing. Some couples can thrive immediately after the addicted partner becomes sober.

While there may be some correlation between a successful marriage and sobriety, partners entering recovery can also learn to get healthy together. It’s tough when one spouse is sober, and the other is not. In this blog post, we’ll explore some of the challenges you may face as well as some tips for navigating marriage after sobriety with aftercare planning. New sobriety leaves a hole that needs to be filled in the partner.

Is my partner actively seeking help and change?

Respecting everyone’s boundaries and feelings can be key. But stable and loving relationships are possible with someone who’s in recovery. This cycle can be hard to break, but it is possible with the right recovery strategy for you and your partner. In addition, you can https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/how-marriage-changes-after-sobriety/ visit The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), a domestic violence prevention advocacy group with a list of resources for relationship abuse help. Without honest communication, both people can end up feeling misunderstood and mistreated, she adds.

However, one of the hardest trials a couple can experience is addiction and its consequences—and that trial doesn’t end when sobriety begins. Spouses will likely experience moments that will have them wondering how their marriage can survive sobriety. There are still challenges ahead, but understanding the potential pitfalls can help spouses work together to overcome them.

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The term codependency is used often and colloquially. But originally, it was created to describe the romantic partners (usually women, although we now know that men can become codependent as well) of people with SUD. You can also write letters to one another as you learn to communicate openly, honestly, and lovingly https://ecosoberhouse.com/ again. Some tough subjects may be difficult for you to talk about or may result in constant interruption and arguments. As you express yourself through writing, it’ll gradually become easier to express yourself verbally as well. Jameson was previously in a relationship with former longtime fiancé Lior Bitton.

• Although many people recover from SUD every day, recovery is often a long and complex process.
• It can be difficult to recognize these feelings because we don’t feel them as frequently as we used to.
• But sometimes, both partners struggle with substance use.

Make a conscious decision to let the past stay in the past and try to move on to the brightest future that you can with the person that you love. It won’t always be easy, but if you get to spend your life with the person you love the most in the world, it will be well worth it. In the early days, I felt that it was my responsibility to answer the question, “How come you aren’t drinking?

Getting Help for Your Alcoholic Spouse

They have grown together, and together they have grown stronger. The marriage won’t look the same as it used to, back in the days of addiction, but that can be a good thing. Getting your marriage back on track after addiction is no easy feat, but it’s certainly possible. If you and your spouse are willing to work hard, it’s possible to overcome the challenges that come with healing your relationship. It just takes a little bit of effort on both your parts.

• The time alone gave me space to do my own soul work and attend to my own life.
• While it’s important to be supportive, it’s also important to maintain your own sense of self-worth and independence.
• Jameson was previously in a relationship with former longtime fiancé Lior Bitton.

A therapist can help you learn more about the role you may have played in a codependent relationship and learn healthier patterns. It’s beneficial for you to learn about substance use disorder, including how it affects both your partner as well as yourself. This may help you to understand SUD and how addiction works, which can help you separate your partner and the disease.